Bass Reeves

Both of my parents were incredible storytellers.

My mom spins parables, wringing insightful meaning from the most mundane circumstances.

My dad was a fantasist who never let the truth get in the way of a good story. I loved the tales he told but I took them with a grain of salt.

So when he asserted that “You know that the Lone Ranger was a Black man, right?” I rolled my eyes.

Even though I’ve known about Bass Reeves for a while now, if he were still alive I’m sure he’d jab me with, “You didn’t believe me but you believe the white lady” upon seeing this post:

https://www.facebook.com/share/r/17w7o2qdet

We’re All Villains

One of my favorite pieces of family lore revolves around my great-grandfather, Robert, called Shack, who purportedly was one of the most successful bootleggers in West Tennessee during Prohibition.

His son, my great uncle, also called Robert, loved to brag that Shack was never caught plying his trade. Shack often boasted that he never worked an honest day in his life, supporting his family in fine fashion by producing bootleg whiskey and shooting dice.

In one instance, the local sheriff assigned two deputies to follow Robert The Elder around for a week, knowing that the local juke joint was due for a resupply.

On Friday afternoon, the deputies trailed Shack in a police cruiser as he made the four mile walk into town. Even stopping to frisk him a couple of times to assure themselves that Shack carried no contraband.

Satisfied they’d done their job, they returned to headquarters to report on a successful completion to their assignment.

Nothing could have been further from the truth.

The fully resupplied juke joint conducted Friday night business uninterrupted. One can only imagine the embarrassment at headquarters the next day. How did Shack accomplish this blatant act of subterfuge?

This is the part of the story that Uncle Robert took particular glee in telling.

Shack delivered his specific brand of moonshine in concentrated form – much like orange juice – small enough to fit into a coffee can which he wrapped in shipping paper. He blended the final product on site.

To sneak his package past his police tail he attached one end of a wire to the package and threw it into the drainage ditch alongside the road. The other end of the wire went into his pocket. He strolled into town walking his can of hootch like it was a pet dog. The wire was thin enough that the deputies could not see it from their vehicle and whenever Shack saw them approach, he merely dropped the wire, stood patiently while they frisked him, and then retrieved the wire once they’d left.

Tennessee of that day was an openly racist, segregated, hierarchy, though one could make the argument that little has changed in the material lives of Black Tennesseans since. Schools are now segregated by tax codes and vouchers rather than law, for instance. The legacy of slavery hung heavily over Black men like Shack in pre-World War II Tennessee. The odds were stacked against him from birth. He had little to no chance of learning to read, let alone getting an education and his life was in constant risk of racial violence. The Klan, which briefly became active at the end of the Civil War to stem the tide of black suffrage, experienced a resurgence in the early 20th Century after the release of D.W. Griffith’s “Birth of A Nation” which glorified the “knights” of the Klan as the protectors of white society. President Woodrow Wilson praised the film after a private screening at the White House.

Another piece of family lore involves the lynching of Joe Boxley, a farmhand of limited mental capacity, who worked for a white family in Crockett County, Tennessee, where Shack plied his trade. Like Potiphar’s wife of the Old Testament, the matriarch of the family was said to relentlessly pursue Joe in a clandestine attempt to seduce him. Joe had enough sense to never be caught alone with a white woman, but his family was broke enough that he couldn’t afford to quit the job. Eventually, the woman fell ill of a mysterious malady and spent several days in bed barely conscious. When she finally came out of her stupor her first words were, “Joe?”

Such was the backdrop of the times as Shack prepared, packaged, and distributed his wares. We, his descendants, have portrayed him as an anti-hero of sorts, taking the bad hand dealt him and running a successful enterprise in “the underground economy.” Accordingly, his family wanted for nothing. Yet there were repercussions.

In later years Uncle Robert often noted that while they were at Shack’s back door on Saturday night for a personal sample of “the recipe” (they couldn’t well be seen at the local juke), the upstanding members of Crockett County’s Black society vilified Shack on Sunday thru Friday. So much so that Uncle Robert, Shack’s only son, a star athlete, and standout student was shunned by polite society. Hardened by the hypocrisy of it all, Uncle Robert determined that “if they were going to brand me a ‘bad nigger’ I’d be the ‘bad-est nigger’ imaginable.”

Never to do anything half assed, Robert Glenn fully threw himself into his new chosen path.  He made his living running his father’s whiskey and illegal gambling. Mostly dice. Unlike Shack, he paid little heed to those he crossed on either side of the law. Reflecting back decades later he would wonder if he’d manifested a type of death wish. By his own admission, he took unimaginable, unnecessary risks, often escaping disaster by a hair’s breadth.

But, in his eyes at least, he was honest about who he was and what he was doing even if his path led ultimately to self-destruction.

Eventually though, after one close call too many, he’d had enough. With few options and nowhere to go (Shack believed in “every pot sitting on its own bottom”), he added a couple of years to his age and enlisted in the army around the time armed services cleared the way for Black soldiers to fight in World War II. Uncle Robert was shipped to the European theater where he served with distinction. But that’s a story for another day.

What I’m interested in is the justifications, lies really, Uncle Robert and Shack had for their behavior.

We’re all the heroes in our own stories, usually underdogs, regularly misunderstood, often tragic. We make our personal odysseys against inconceivable odds to get the girl/right the wrong/defeat the monster.

Or so we tell ourselves.

To be clear, the obstacles that Shack and his son faced were ready made for a hero’s journey: a rigged justice system, legal slavery in the form of Jim Crow segregation and sharecropping, the constant threat of white violence, and the further indignity of the hypocritical condemnation of “proper” Black society.

How did they choose to respond?

Shack made and sold illegal whiskey, an unregulated, often dangerous substance, largely to his own community. In his times, the main risks of consuming moonshine were from poisoning from contaminants like lead, methanol, and arsenic. The results were often blindness, kidney damage, and death. I have no way of knowing to what level Shack maintained his quality controls. But it is quite possible, Shack made a very comfortable living from the high likelihood of poisoning his own people. Now, let’s assume for a moment that no one got sick or died from his “brew.”

Put bluntly, given the racial disparities of the Depression Era, pre-war South, Shack made a living salving the misery of his neighbors with an addictive substance.

Likewise, Shack’s son, my Uncle Robert, profited from the sale of the same illegal (probably tainted) whiskey, and by his own admission, “raised as much hell” as he could. In fact, he delighted in it, particularly with respect to the “fairer sex.” He told me that he never hurt anyone physically other than in self-defense. Though short on details, he confessed that he left “a trail of misery” in his wake in those days.

They were both villains of the highest order; exploitive, manipulative, heartless. Shack plied his trade in the manner of the modern tech bro sociopath. Beholding only to the bottom line. What did he care for the lives his product damaged? They consumed it of their own free will.

Robert merely met the community standards set before him. He often said that he “gave ’em what they wanted” or expected at least.

Did either of them interpret their behavior as villainy?

Of course not.

Do you?

We all manufacture justifications for our wickedness. Justifications often built on the lies we tell ourselves so that we can stand ourselves. Ironically, we often think too highly of ourselves because we fear that we are worthless. We create heroic narratives for our behavior to distract our minds from the compromises we make to our integrity, the harm we cause, the manner in which we exploit others for gain. Rather than make amends we pursue delusion. Making amends would require us to abandon our carefully constructed fantasies that undergird our self-image.

We may not lynch or poison our neighbors or exploit our peers. But we are often curt and rude to elderly relatives because of questions asked one time too many (there’s even a limit to the allowance for senility). We will unduly punish a child over a minor infraction behind a particularly frustrating commute home. We will lash out a colleague in jealousy.

And then we expand on the assumed affrontery to avoid addressing the issues that drive our behavior. We construct a hero’s narrative to justify our transgressions. Because we’re all afraid of facing what we don’t like about ourselves. We’re all warping the concept of morality to fit the shape of our fantasies. We’re all taking shortcuts to our desired outcomes. We’re all constantly looking for excuses for our questionable behavior (and doing it loud and wrong).

We’re all villains.

Blackness Is A Curse

The details and symbols of your life have been deliberately constructed to make you believe what white people say about you. Please try to remember that what they believe, as well as what they do and cause you to endure, does not testify to your inferiority but to their inhumanity and fear.” – James Baldwin

In November of 2021 10-year-old Isabella Faith Tichenor, a Black middle schooler enrolled in the Davis school district, in Salt Lake City, Utah, took her own life after repeated racial harassment by her classmates. Davis schools, have a history of documented discriminatory practice. The most recent being called out in a Justice Department report in October of the same year. Yet nothing was done. No effort was made to address the concerns of her family and other black families in the district.

Because too many white people still believe that blackness is a curse.

I remember being told this in grade school by a white teacher. He didn’t necessarily support it, but he offered that there was a theory that blackness was “The Mark of Cain”. All of this ignores what we knew even then from the fossil record about human origins, but let’s just stay with the theological/literary aspects of the discussion for the moment.

I don’t recall mentioning it to my parents, or if I did, what they said.

Frankly, I don’t remember much of a fuss. I’d internalized so much anti-black orthodoxy by that age, it was just another data point.

But I was also a kid that did the reading. Genesis 4:14-15 reads:
“But the Lord said to him, “Not so; anyone who kills Cain will suffer vengeance seven times over.” Then the Lord put a mark on Cain so that no one who found him would kill him.”

I suggested later to this same teacher that blackness wasn’t a curse, but a warning against harm to Cain and his descendants. If this was true, what were we to make of slavery? To his credit, he allowed that America might be in trouble.

There have been some well-meaning white people who, through the years, have attempted to dispel my characterization of the “cursedness” of my skin tone. This is a mistake, because they are operating from the premise that I want to be like them or that I’m “just as good as them” or that my skin color is “equal” to theirs.

As if whiteness is the gold standard.

They are making the same mistake as my aforementioned schoolteacher. Whatever “curse” mentioned in the story of Cain had nothing to do with his appearance, rather it was on those that would do him harm. So it is with the curse of American Blackness. It has nothing to do with me or anyone who looks like me. Rather it is the sense of false superiority that white people hold over me and, most importantly, the way the embrace of white supremacy dehumanizes them to the point that white children could torment a Black child into committing suicide with the apparent tacit approval of all of the adults in their lives.

The curse of blackness does infinitely more harm to white people than it does to Black people.

Link to 2021 article:
Family mourns loss of 10-year-old Utah girl who died following reported bullying https://kutv.com/amp/news/local/family-mourns-loss-of-1

American “Gulags” Are Nothing New

The “fascism” that many are finally seeing first hand has been apparent to a lot of us for quite some time. My grandmother used to offer water to “road gang” convicts repairing the road in front of our family farm. I remember “helping” her deliver water (I carried the dipper) to those men (though she often cautioned me to “not get too close”). I remember the smell of the tar they laid on the road and the sweat pouring off them and the gratitude in their eyes.

For a long time, like a lot of people, I assumed that they “deserved” the punishment they were getting when oftentimes their only “offense” was “not having a job”.

We’ve had “gulags” for a minute, y’all.

“Convict leasing was a system of forced penal labor that was practiced historically in the Southern United States before it was formally abolished during the 20th century. Under this system, private individuals and corporations could lease labor from the state in the form of prisoners, nearly all of whom were Black. Prisoners today produce products that have been bought by companies like McDonald’s, Walmart and Cargill.”

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penal_labor_in_the_United_States#:~:text=States%20leased%20out%20convicts%20to,labor%20with%20very%20little%20oversight.

Public

Nah, I’m Good

While I hear that generally he’s as popular as ever with the faithful, I’m relieved to hear that many of the people who voted for the current Chief Executive are “coming around” now that they are actually experiencing actual harm from his policies.

However, I find little motivation to “join with” or “welcome” them. Not out of spite or any desire for “revenge” (as I heard one progressive writer blithely put it).

Who am I to judge? I’ve got my own shortcomings to answer for.

Rather, I was never “in community” with these folks, especially the truly MAGA faithful, to begin with. Personally, I often find myself on the outside looking in no matter what space I find myself in. Beside the fact that I’m currently “living Black” in an overwhelmingly white, conservative community, I generally don’t trust the logic of crowds, I ask too many questions, and frankly, I live in my own head a lot. So I’m always a bit detached. Awkward really.

I have to be on guard against the temptation toward snobbery because of it. Awkwardness can often lead to elitism if left unattended.

Regardless, I feel no kinship with, or any desire for same, with any current or former supporters of the current Chief Executive. I certainly am willing to work in tandem with the like minded against a common threat and to support vulnerable communities (no matter the political bent).

But let’s leave it at that. Perhaps an unnecessary distinction but it’s one I require. And there is precedent: https://www.pbs.org/independentlens/documentaries/the-first-rainbow-coalition/

Compared To What…

When I was in college 100 years ago I learned that while there were objective measures of art, for instance, line, color usage, brush strokes, harmonic progression, etc, art is best judged on how effective it is rather than if “I like it” or even “get it.”

That effective art resonates. That it speaks to the layers of the human condition.

Furthermore, we bring our own perspectives to art and that our perspectives change over time. For example, when I was growing up, my dad wore the groove out of “Compared To What” by Les McCann & Ed Harris. It did not move me back then. Probably scared me a little. But now, with 6 decades behind me, it’s my “Hallelujah Chorus.”

What Lamar left us with Sunday night was art. There were layers upon layers.

Snippet

“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us” – Ephesian 3:20

There is a section in the 20th verse of the 3rd chapter of Ephesians where the writer references the power of God “that is at work within us”.

I find that verse intimidating because much of the time I don’t feel very “powerful.” In engineering school I learned that power is “the capacity to do work”; the equation being power = work/time. Do a little algebra and we find that work = power/time which implies that a large amount of work can be generated by a powerful motor over a short period of time or by a small motor over a long period of time.

Therein in lies my problem: time.

I used to believe that my issue with this scripture is laziness (and I am lazy) but that’s not the root of it. Rather it’s the worry that I won’t have the time to complete the work I have before me. Which is wholly ridiculous when you think about it. We’re all time limited. We’re all on the clock and it’s going to run out for us all at one point or another.

Earlier this week, a college friend died of a burst aneurysm. He was around my age, late 50’s/early 60’s. Right now, one of my mother’s oldest friends is making her transition after just having turned 101 on the 11th. I’m sure they both would rather be here. I know that they made the best of their time based on the testimonials of friends and family and my own personal experience with them.

There is another scripture that says “Teach us to number our days, that we might incline our hearts to wisdom.” – Psalm 90:12 – which, loosely translated, says (to me, anyway) that rather than fretting over death, we should keep it ever before us as a reminder to stay on task. Or as one of my great-uncles used to say, “I intend to wear out, not rust out.”

Or finally, as Toni Morrison said, “We are already born, we are going to die, so you have to do something interesting, that you respect in between.”

An Ecclesiastical Frame of Mind

“The sun rises and the sun sets,
    and hurries back to where it rises.
The wind blows to the south
    and turns to the north;
round and round it goes,
    ever returning on its course.
All streams flow into the sea,
    yet the sea is never full.
To the place the streams come from,
    there they return again.
All things are wearisome,
    more than one can say.
The eye never has enough of seeing,
    nor the ear its fill of hearing.” Ecclesiastes 1:5-8

Having yet to catch my breath from the current year, I can hardly look forward to a new one. But isn’t that kind of the point? Life moves on whether we’re ready for what comes or not, whether we want what it brings or not.

And I’m learning that “wanting” anything in terms of the outcomes of my living to be a pointless exercise. It’s akin to a leaf in a hurricane expecting to “get somewhere”, just tossed about aimlessly, spinning about comically with no defined path.

Better to adopt the pose of the surfer. Wait on the next wave and ride it for as long as I can. Enjoy it for as long as I can knowing that I will fall – often awkwardly and foolishly – until the last wave comes.

And knowing that I won’t be ready to stop.

Aunt Lois

Aunt Lois once told me of the time several spotted goats appeared on the family homestead out of nowhere during a storm. Her dad, my great grandfather, made inquiries throughout the community for several weeks but no one ever claimed them. She gently, but firmly, scoffed at my suggestion that perhaps it was some type of sign that our family was somehow “set apart” in the same manner as done in scripture (in the story of Jacob I believe).

On another occasion, when she caught me bragging on her carport about my impending baptism to some friends, Aunt Lois called me inside and cautioned, “Son you can go in that water a dry devil and come out a wet one. It’s just tap water. What matters is your commitment and growth.”

Finally, upon learning of  a betrayal by a girlfriend whom she never really cared for, Aunt Lois said, “You can set your best linen and silverware, light your finest dinner candles, and then take out your most prized crystal bowl and go out into the yard and fill it with chicken shit. When you sit back down at your finely set table and put that first forkful into your mouth it will not miraculously change to chicken salad.”

Do you sense a pattern? 

Which is not to say that Aunt Lois wasn’t filled with a sense of wonder. It’s just that she reserved it for important things; like an exceptional sunset or the satisfaction of a good day’s labor and the laughter of friends.

FEAR OF A BLACK PARENT

We spend a lot of time afraid. Catch any local news broadcast and you will run the risk of fear dominating your life. When I was a child, I regularly imagined that my mother was abandoning me when she went off to work. She, and most of the women in my family, were my refuge. For I was often afraid of the men in my family. Which, I think, they rather preferred.

Black men in the 60’s and 70’s had very little agency beyond fear, especially in the South. Fear is what they knew, intimately. It kept them “in their place.” It often kept them alive.

To say that I was afraid of storms wouldn’t be quite right. Because storms didn’t bother me when I was with people. In fact,  in those circumstances, I rather enjoyed them. Which probably means that, at heart, I was afraid of being alone, of (again) abandonment. Similarly with the dark; as long as I was with someone, the dark held little terror.  However, proximity mattered much more in the dark. The closer the better, because if I was alone and others were not nearby in the dark, every fear was magnified. Every little sound brought terror.

As I grew older, I learned to subvert my fear because I realized that other people despised the fearful . Especially the men in my life. Showing fear meant that you were “weak,” and weakness was considered the worst trait of all. But hiding my fear made me into a fraud, because, while pretending to be brave, or at least, uninterested, I disguised the fact that I often felt things deeply.

And then, there was my father. I was certain at times that he didn’t like me. Oh, I’m sure that he “loved” me. I was his. What man doesn’t love what’s his? But I often felt like an interloper around him. Not unwanted, but certainly an inconvenience.

In retrospect, I’ve learned that a lot of what I took as my father’s disregard for me probably originated in illness. Today, he’d likely be diagnosed with sleep apnea. I have it myself and know from personal experience the brain fog and general peevishness that a chronic lack of sleep can cause. And that the energy and incessant curiosity of a small child in perpetual motion will set your nerves on edge.

What do I fear now? Death? Poverty? Disgrace? Obscurity? Surely, all of these at one time or another (and sometimes all together). But I think at the top of the list is that I don’t know myself. I faked it too long. Avoidance becomes reflexive after a while. Anything to avoid being found out, hiding so much that whatever is left of the real “you” gets warped beyond recognition. You can convince yourself of anything if it keeps you from facing yourself. But eventually, the bill comes due. Not that I necessarily pretend any less. But, acknowledging it is a start.